How Can I make a Decision?

“Each time I have to make a decision my brain puts on the overly rational or overly instinctual hat creating a huge list of pros and cons, drowning in the pool of ‘what ifs’”

Should I go back to this place?

At one point or the other or at millions of points in our lives we do come across this gambling game, when we all become analysts carefully grasping the present, remembering the unfortunate past and slowly defining our future decisions.

For me this question pops up for the smallest of situations ‘ should I step into a task or not’, ‘should I say what I feel or just let it be’. Sometimes I take ages contemplating my past, present and even the unseen future before committing to an act. And I’m not talking about dealing with drugs or murder. But acts like “Should I stay silent during a fight with my spouse”, “Should I call my mom?”

Each time I have to make a decision my brain puts on the overly rational or overly instinctual hat creating a huge list of pros and cons, drowning in the pool of ‘what ifs’. And by the time I statistically make a decision it’s already too late, then it’s just pain or its too instinctual that I myself don’t know what I’ll jump into but then I take that leap with the thought ‘what if’ I make it through?

Is there a way out? Or is it just the matter of positivism wherein I should make myself believe that ‘all that happens, happens for good’ but for whose good? When I’m not happy with the consequences how can it be good? Then they say, “Wait for the good to happen”, but until when? How can I make a decision and still feel good that I made it.

If I have to over think then there has to be a reason for it. Finding this reason called intuition is only the first step.

Then comes the next step I call it ‘conclusive components’ which includes the fear of taking the step because I don’t want to be hurt, because I don’t know if I’ll be successful , because I don’t know what the world will think and the list could be endless. There I logically try to think of bases for this fear if I can’t find any then it’s a silent agreement ‘a yes’.
With two steps through there has to be that final step the ‘decision maker’ this should depend on people around you and not just you. And ‘Yes’ it’s important to think about everyone who might get directly or indirectly affected by your decision.

For example, for someone who has been heart broken a few times the words ‘I love you ‘ will not come out easy but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to say it, so stay. Stay until they can finally say, stay until they can rant it as their morning prayer. Stay until you can make a decision to finally drift away but with least regret. Maybe you’ll find happiness again.

Writer, Engineer & Dancer. I write about emotions and personal development.

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